You wonder why sometimes you talk
to the apparent focused hearing of person(s) but don't get desired results.
This is simply because "hearing" and "listening" are two
(almost) entirely different things. They may seem same at first notice but they're
not, though they possess many similarities.
To be able to perceive (sound)
through the auditory sense is what 'Hearing' is. Or quite simply - to be able
to perceive sound. That's all there is to it... perceiving. You explain your
best and the other only "notices" you speaking. In other words ...
this person may notice but not understand or even remember a thing of what you
communicated ... kind'a like talking to the wind. In the end, your
wisdom-carried-breath is wasted.
The act of Hearing (perceiving
(sound) through the auditory sense) attentively on the other hand is what
'Listening' is. To perceive with intention or attention (the process whereby a
person concentrates on some features of the environment to the (relative)
exclusion of others) is what 'Listening' actually is. It is undertaken with a
general interest leading person(s) to want to know more.
The difference between the two -
Focus. And this is where my problem is. People say all the time: "I'm
listening to you ..." but are actually really just hearing what you're
saying, and this is because they do not pay attention enough to understand your
speech; they're just waiting to reply with what's on their mind. Unfortunately,
this was never the way communication was supposed to be. Think about it for a
bit ... if we spent as much time listening (hearing with intent) as we did
building a line of retaliation as we wait in earnest for the one communicating
to end their speech, we would realize that we actually need not say anything in
reply a lot of the time. My best of friends once said to me: “Most of us do not
listen to understand, we listen to reply ... ", and upon thinking on that
a while, I realized the truth in that statement. I, myself, was even guilty of
such sad a behavior.
Truth is ... many do not really
like to listen ... they just want to be heard. That in itself is rather, for
lack of a quieter word, selfish. I doubt any would enjoy being "tied to a
tree", because that's what it is like for someone to always want their way
... never giving you the chance to equally express your thoughts. A good
listener has great wisdom, and plenty self-control, which, sadly, is hard to
come by in many a person.
Become a good listener and . . . wisdom will overflow your banks.
A thing that is difficult is not necessarily impossible to accomplish.
A thing only becomes impossible to accomplish when the ingredient required to
push far past limits is lacking - Faith.
~ Yoyo
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