Love~Decision

And there are those times when you feel like jumping off a cliff end! It happens, but it doesn't make you any less of a person. You wake up with such spank only to have it ripped out from under you. You start to wonder; "What's the point?!!!"

To love no be joke!

I am quickly learning that love is not all about feelings but more about decisions. Having all the love in the universe cannot save a relationship of any kind if there is no decision to be committed - to stand fast regardless the storm. Depending solely on what we feel is... (forgive my choice of word) complete insanity! Emotions are naturally very blinding and can be a bridge-breaker! Think about it... when someone you care about hurts your feelings you kind of automatically pull away creating a chasm quite deep between you and the one. This is akin to breaking bridges - access ways - to each other. That bridge stays broken till a decision, by one of the two, is taken.

Am i saying emotions are bad? Nope! They are not. God put them there for a reason - to smoothen out the odds and create an atmosphere of serenity. Without emotions, there would be no decision made to be tied to a relationship, because frankly most would not even care about it. Emotions, which originate from the heart of us all kind of guides you to a place where the mind does not even know exists because it is an almost complete realist. One without the other and we'd all be robots! ...or complete idiots!!

Depending solely on decision making takes out the human nature of feeling-before-doing, and relying solely on emotions takes sanity out of the equation and transforms a person into a clown. The right mix of the two is very necessary to live out a full life. This is what i have come to know as "Balance". Herein unfortunately lies the difficulty; creating balance. Many people do not know how to balance the two and thus cause more damage than they intended. This affects the other person regardless of how firmly balanced they may be. Care must be taken to avoid such occurrences.

I earlier on said that "I am quickly learning that love is not all about feelings but more about decisions." and this is a truth many others are coming to realise. I have learnt that if you do not decide to make things better (eventually leading to the way things should be) you will either remain in a loop of recurring problems or in a plunging fall to complete confusion in utter darkness! He who rises up to declare himself infallible is really ignorant of his ability to fall down flat on his face! It's a human thing; no matter how hard you try you are bound to make a mistake at some point. If we as men were flawless and completely aware of everything, we'd never make errors, but rather unfortunately, we are anything but flawless - We Are Flawed!

Not to worry though, 'cause Christ redeemed us and then became an example to us. When man hated, despised, disregarded and disrespected Jesus by ridiculing Him, spitting on Him, beating Him, placing a huge crown of thorns on His head and pushing it deep into His skull, and the worst... nailing Him to a cross... He, Jesus, all but loved us on unto death, asking for forgiveness for the very men He came to save. I told a friend; "Jesus is my role model and i so want to imitate Him... i want to be above my emotions... i won't ever give up...". It is all decision making predefined by emotions - a right mix of the two.

Emotions and Decision-making are all very necessary, and truth is, a person really cannot have one without the other. It is impossible! When you think about it, you realise that all decisions are made based on emotions. That is why decisions end up with one of two possible outcomes - Peace or War. Any dying relationship has the symptoms of wrong decision-making tied to wrong emotions. The vice versa is true. Having the right kind of emotions toward your partner will lead you to make kind decisions toward the one... effortlessly... if i may add. It all comes from practice; practice to be worse-off or practice to be better.

One thing i do not agree with is when a relationship seems to be balancing in the hands of just one of the two who should be sharing the load. It leaves the "balancer" worn out. Of all the definitions i found, the Physics definition of the word "Couple" is by far my preferred definition – 

"Something joined by two equal and opposite forces that act along parallel lines."

It captures rightly the fact that there are two parts (forces) in a couple and not one. It points out that the parts are equal and opposing, which thus infers that these two parts regardless of their "structure" are balanced out though having different characteristics. The parallel nature of these parts refers to Unity (Oneness of Heart and Mind) and all of this put together is what creates the "something" the definition is referencing; A beautiful relationship in our case.

My advice...?? Don't hope, Decide!

Rather than hoping that some one day everything will just somehow fall into place, Decide to make things be as they are meant to be.

 ~ yoyo

~ inspiredw0rdz

~ August 06, 2015 ; 12 : 15 pm