The Now!

The mistake many of us make is focusing on the future. Don't get me wrong though... keep on reading downwards to understand exactly what i mean. As far, and, as uncertain as the future is, we focus our efforts in that direction to the detriment of the present. We tend to forget that the present is present and ongoing, and thus we lose focus of what is staring us right in the face. The funny thing is that when the future becomes present, due to our future-focusedness we tend to lose the meaning of the focus we had for the present that was moments ago, the future. We keep focusing on the future and lose what the present has to hold.

To be focused is a good thing. In fact, it is not just a good thing but a necessity to achieve goals, dreams, desires... the like. On the other hand, too much of focus is damaging to the point of losing focus on what truly may be important at one time or the other. Future-focusedness unconsciously prevents any one person from achieving their best in the current because they fail to see the relevance of the present. It causes persons to become tunnel-minded - seeing in one direction only. Take a couple prepping for marriage for example; if they're not careful to enjoy each process that will finally land them before the altar and then finally in the same home, they lose all the possible fun moments available to them because they're just focused on achieving what lies in the future. All the moments where they could have played, smiled, laughed and just made some good memories, they lost because they were too focused on what lies ahead that they forgot completely about the present. The se is true of married couples; focusing entirely on fending for the home and the kids and making sure there's sufficiency causing amnesia that blanks out the reason they even got married in the first place. This is also a reason why some marriages turn sour, because the two who became one forgot what made them one in the first place and end up living a life of two fenders living together based on a signed agreement - marriage loses what it is!

Friends and family are not exempt from this errr ... problematic occurrence. Moments that could be shared that could bring many fond memories are left off in some corner somewhere and the focus is being that perfect person or ensuring that those perfect conditions exist between the persons involved. One night, while i was out with some friends I'm rather unimaginably fond off, i realised that it is possible to enjoy those subtle moments that almost always go unnoticed because of "misplaced" focus. We thrashed out some issues, and putting them behind us, we focused on having fun in those present moments... the result of which was us hugging each other amidst smiles and laughter by night's end. Though i was driving, i did not miss out on those moments of fun because i... we... all got involved in those very moments leaving the past with its problems and the future with it's focus wherever they were. We simply focused on making the best of a night that started on an awkward note, and the concluding result was simply ... very many fond memories that will not be forgotten!

Focus has never been a bad thing. As i said, it is a necessity, but can also make you lose focus on what may be more important in particular moments. This could cause a lot of hurt to others involved. If you were supposed to be quiet and lending a listening ear to a friend, for example, but you were just talking so much or you were just goofing around preventing that friend who needed to relieve some frustration off from their chest, the result would be that friend getting hurt. You would have lost focus of what is important in that moment right there and made a mess of things. That friend may not even complain about it and would just keep their frustration lurking within them, but he or she would start to doubt if they could ever depend on you whenever they needed a helping hand. The funny thing is that this occurs a lot more often than we realise. We fail to notice when we're supposed to be cheering up a friend and when we're simply supposed to be sitting quietly and listening intently in order to just be there as needed. We are all both victims and guilty of this behaviour - the price of being human!

'We focus way too much on the future and we end up losing the present!' This is a statement i made to a friend during a discussion we had recently. The thing is, we are so focused on our dreams and desires that we put in our best effort into making them a reality. In the process we lose what stares at us right in the face. It pales to a shadow out of complete neglect. It is of great import to focus on The Now and make memories of what is, that way, the fight for the future becomes meaningful and starts to feel like it is worth it. The strength to push on forward manifests rather easily and thus your focus focuses like the blur that fades from a camera lens.

Focus! ...but, do not lose true focus.

~ yoyo

~ inspiredw0rdz

~ January 23, 2015 ; 02 : 16 am